Debates of October 31, 2022 (day 129)
Member’s Statement 1259-19(2): Halloween
Mahsi, Madam Speaker. Madam Speaker, every year at this time our society celebrates a ghoulish tradition Halloween night. All schools hold Halloween costume parties, games, and there's prizes for the scariest costumes. For the children, there is excitement going trick or treating from house to house to collect all sorts of candies. Parents, I warn you, it is for your kids. Equally excited are the adults who have their own entertainment night at local establishments.
Madam Speaker, that was the first time I saw a ghost going from one ditch and across to the other ditch and back again and that was the whole length of the road; which reminds me, the man was in the hospital on Halloween for a series of medical tests the last test had left his tummy upset. After making many false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the fifth false trip would be his last and just stay in bed from now on. Then he had to go again, and this time it was the real deal and the bedsheets were covered in brown matter. This was very embarrassing for the man. So he jumped up, gathered up the bedsheets into a large ball and threw them out the nearest open hospital window.
A mixed martial arts fighter was walking to the hospital to visit an injured training partner when the ball of sheets landed on him. He started screaming, punching, and kicking his legs wildly as hard as he could, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the fighter stood there staring down at the sheets, trying to work out what just happened, a hospital security guard, who just witnessed the whole incident, walked up and asked, are you okay? Still staring down at what just attacked him, the fighter replied, I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost. Have a Happy Halloween, everyone. Mahsi.